Always There

One Step Behind

2008-06-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

A poem Janelle found for me on my 14th bday.

"Each day is an endless parade to a place unknown
Life leading you on an unmarked path not clearly shown
Some parts of your path may be rugged and steep
And others have crevasses infinitely deep

There are times on your journey where to go you know not
For in a dense fog, your body is caught
Unable to see what lies ahead of the way
Uncertain as to when this haze will eventually stray

There are times when I am caught in the confusion too
Not knowing where to go, not knowing what to do
But no matter how dense the fog, I turn to see
Your smiling face looking back at me

With reassurance in your glance
I know you'll always be there
Only one step behind
Each step taken with care

I hope that you know when you are lost in the mist
Feel unloved, alone and unmissed
That if you look back you will find
That I will be one step behind"

SS

2008-06-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

Kid: "Miss Ruth, how do you spell 'uh'?"
Me: "What?"
Kid: "How do you spell 'uh'?"
Me: "umm.. sound it out!"
Kid: "Okay." *writes down the letter 'u'* "Miss Ruth, now how do you spell sleep?"
... and I inwardly die laughing.

If you don't get it.. try reading it aloud.

Some Days Are Diamonds

2008-06-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

by John Denver

When You asked how I've been here without you
I'd like to say I've been fine and I do.
But we both know the truth is hard to come by
And if I told the truth, that's not quite true

Some days are diamonds some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds some days are stones.

Now the face that I see in my mirror
More and more is a stranger to me
More and more I can see there's a danger
In becoming what I never thought I'd be

Some days are diamonds some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds some days are stones.

Some days are diamonds some days are stones
Sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone
Sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones
Some days are diamonds some days are stones.

Another day in the life of a 1st grade TA

2008-06-24T17:22:00.001-07:00

Mom walks up. I give her a hug.

My kids: "Is that your grandma?"

My Kids.

2008-06-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

When you smile, I smile.
When you laugh, I cannot help but laugh.
When you cry, I want to cry.
When you are hurt, I feel for you.

I put my arms around you and try to make everything alright. Here, in my arms, the world is a better place. No bad thing can touch you. You don't need anything else. The tears slowly fade and you can smile again... allowing me, also, to smile. When you come up behind me and put your arms around me, I feel so warm inside and know that I, too, can be loved.

Everything I do is for you. And I wonder.. will it be worth it? But when you put your arms around me.. I know that it is. =]

S.S. Week 1 sets sail. Ahoy matey!

2008-06-19T23:33:00.000-07:00

Dad walks into classroom.
Little kids: "Is that your grandpa?"
Me: "No, that's my dad. But doesn't he look like Santa Claus? Look at his white beard!"
Little kids: "No. He looks like your grandpa."
...Ruth dies laughing.
***
Little boy: "ooh.. a spider."
Little boy starts following spider across grass. Mister George steps in front of kid and starts talking to kid about some random unimportant detail. Little boy ignores Mister George and continues staring at spider.
Little boy: "There's a spider on your shoe."
Mister George: *screams like a girl and jumps up and down*
Little boy continues to follow spider.
...Ruth dies laughing.
***
Ruth and Jaclyn are upstairs in a classroom looking for Mister Hong. He's not there. Ruth looks for a post-it note to leave a message on his desk, turns to Jaclyn.
Ruth: "Is he coming?"
Jaclyn: *jumps* "He's coming! Quick hide!"
Ruth: "Okay!"
Jaclyn: "wait.. I didn't mean it seriously."
Ruth: "It's okay. Just hide."
Ruth hides behind door. Mister Hong walks in. Ruth sticks out papers in front of him.
Ruth: "Here. The office sent these."
Mister Hong: *jumps. sees Ruth behind door. jumps again*
Jaclyn pleads not guilty.
...Ruth dies laughing.
***
And now for my closing remarks:
"STUPID OFFICE! STUPID, STUPID OFFICE! NO! NO! NO! YOU'RE TOO OLD! WOMEN TEACHERS! STRESS! STRESS! STRESS!" ~anonymous

Someone

2008-06-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

Music: Frank Wildhorn
Lyrics: Jack Murphy

We all lose our way sometimes
get caught out in the rain
blue skies turn to grey sometimes
we've all heard that refrain
as long as there's someone
who will take you as you are
you'll never need a lucky star

'Cause when someone's there who will listen
one who'll care and just love you
you'll make it through
and when there's a shoulder to cry on
someone you can rely on
be there too for that someone there for you
Everybody needs a friend
every now and then
when you feel you're near the end
just remember when
somebody held you in their
lovin' arms and then
helped you start over again

'Cause when someone's there who will listen
someone there who won't judge you
one who'll care and just love you
you'll make it through
and when there's a shoulder to cry on
someone you can rely on
be there too for that someone there for you
when you're there for someone
someone's always there for you <3

2008-05-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

Dad: "You should open another bag of Cheetos."
Me: "Why don't you?"
Dad: "But then it would be my fault."
Me: "Then why don't you bring me a bag, I'll open it, then give it to you."
Dad: "Okay."

haha.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

2008-05-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

words by Otto Harbach

"They asked me how I knew
my true love was true.
I, or course, replied,
something here inside
cannot be denied.

They said someday you'll find
all who love are blind.
When your heart's on fire,
you must realize
smoke gets in your eyes.

So I chaffed them and I gayly laughed
to think they could doubt my love.
Yet today my love has flown away;
I am without my love.

Now laughing friends deride
tears I cannot hide,
so I smile and say,
'When a lovely flame dies,
smoke gets in your eyes.'"

Hana Yori Dango

2008-05-08T11:05:00.000-07:00

It is normal for a person to identify with a character in a book. In fact, it is expected. Writers form their characters in such a way that their readers will identify with them. Then the authors make more money.
However, every once in a while can someone relate so completely to a character, that the relation goes far beyond the typical surface relations.. and becomes a relation of the heart. And in that moment, the heart is opened and the reader suddenly sees inside their heart clearer than ever before. It is as though you are put up on a screen and all your thoughts, feelings, and actions are displayed clearly and transparently. When the person on the screen is feeling sad, you can't help but cry because they are you! When they are happy, you feel like you can fly because they are you. For the moments you read about that character, you become one-inextricably intertwined inside and out.
Often the reader is unsure how to deal with such a suddenly honest epiphany and they bury it away and forget it, going back to the way they were before.
I, on the other hand, refuse to do that. I may not know what to do with what I have learned, but I'm going to find out. Today.
I've realized something.. I can't keep denying who I am. This is who I am! Yes, I know that I will undergo a lot of pain because of this.. but that is the way it must be. And, if anything, it only means that I need to be stronger.
The title of this post is the name of the book I found myself in. I wouldn't suggest any of you go read it. None of my regular visitors here would like it. I just want you all to know that I have found myself. And now I will do my best not to lose myself again. And I'm sorry if someone gets hurt because of who I am.

2008-05-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

"Women are always hiding behind vagueness! Why can't things just be simple?!"

In My Own Little Corner

2008-04-14T20:33:00.000-07:00

"In my own little corner in my own little chair
I can be whatever I want to be.
On the wings of my fancy I can fly anywhere
and the world will open its arms to me.
I'm a young Norwegian princess or a milkmaid
I'm the greatest prima donna in Milan
I'm an heiress who has always had her silk made
By her own flock of silkworms in Japan
I'm a girl men go mad for love's a game I can play with
cool and confident kind of air.
Just as long as I stay in my own little corner
All alone in my own little chair.
I can be whatever I want to be.
I'm a slave from Calcutta I'm a queen in Peru.
I'm a mermaid dancing upon the sea
I'm a huntress on an African safari.. it's a dangerous type of sport and yet it's fun
In the night I sally forth to seek my quarry
And I find I forgot to bring my gun.
I am lost in the jungle all alone and unarmed when I meet a lioness in her lair
Then I'm glad to be back in my own little corner,
All alone in my own little chair."

Carl Rogers

2008-04-13T16:51:00.001-07:00

“If we value independence, if we are disturbed by the growing conformity of knowledge, of values, of attitudes, which our present system induces, then we may wish to set up conditions of learning which make for uniqueness, for self-direction, and for self-initiated learning.”

What will it take to provide a quality public education in America? (3 concrete points)

2008-04-13T15:46:00.002-07:00

I suppose it would be too easy to say that it would take God to provide a quality public education in America, but it is the truth. As civilizations turn away from God, crime rates rise. As musicians turn away from God, their music becomes increasingly discordant and painful to listen to. In the same way, when you take God out of a school’s education system, it slowly loses all its quality. By returning God to the education system and making him an important part of it (unlike CCS where Bible class is more of an inside joke) America can provide a quality public education. Another thing that would greatly help would be to remove the practice of tenure. By guaranteeing those teachers a job, they do not work as hard. Some do not even teach at all because they know they cannot be fired. This greatly detracts from the student’s education. I suppose the second biggest problem is the politics involved in schools. Politicians love to argue about how students feel and what students want, but has anyone ever bothered to ask students how they feel and what they want? If the politicians would stop bickering just to make themselves look good, maybe the education system could actually do some good. Return the control to the parents and the board of education. No, I don’t mean just say that the control is there, but really give them control. Then leave them to do their business. Thank you.

What makes a good teacher?

2008-04-13T15:46:00.001-07:00

First, a teacher must care for his/her students. If a teacher does not care about his/her students, that teacher will be grossly ineffective. Students can sense when a teacher does not care about them, and they immediately close themselves to that teacher. It is difficult to reach a closed person, and impossible if you do not truly care about them. Also, a teacher must treat students as human beings. Too many teachers nowadays talk down to their students. The truth is some students know more about most subjects than their teacher! Students are not dumb. Students are not blind. Students really can think for themselves. In all things we are equal to teachers except in age and education and position placed in. Just because someone has been placed in the position of teacher, however, does not mean they are worthy of the title. A good, effective teacher treats the students as they want to be treated. Yes, discipline is necessary in the classroom, but a good teacher is not only a teacher, but also a friend and mentor. In the movie, none of the students respect Erin at the beginning. However, by the end (yes, I cheated and rented the movie over the weekend) all the students have the greatest respect for her. Erin earned their respect by showing that she respected them. I know many teachers that I would like to show this movie to and say “see? That’s the way to do it!” Too many teachers like to strut around and tell their students that we have to respect them because they are the teacher. That’s ridiculous. The basics of a good teacher are all found in Erin Gruwell who not only won the respect of her students, but their love.

2008-04-13T15:43:00.000-07:00

She complained about me, saying I wasn't trying. Why should I try, when she wouldn't?

She complained about me, saying I didn't want to learn. Why should I want to learn, when she didn't want to teach me?

She demanded respect from me... why should I respect her? She didn't respect me.

Life Goes On

2008-04-13T14:59:00.000-07:00

So, the play is over. Supposedly, I make a really good old person. ;] And the weather is unbearably hot.

My dad said that we performed a miracle. ;] Though, we all did know that it would take a miracle to pull this thing off. But it went marvelously nonetheless. <3

2008-04-07T20:14:00.001-07:00

"Wake me up inside....
Wake me up inside..
Call my name
and save me from the dark.

Save me from the nothing I've become...

Bring me to life."

Theatre

2008-04-03T18:42:00.000-07:00

I am so upset I am almost to the point of not caring anymore. >.< The way we are being treated is ridiculous.

We have only one person as director.. producer... everything! And they have decided to take him away a WEEK before performance to go to a science convention.

Do not talk to me about devotion.. you have none.
Do not talk to me about loyalty... you have none.
Do not talk to me about commitment.. you have none.

Talk to me instead about selfishness, blindness, and disrespect.. for that is what you have.

A Return to Randomness

2008-03-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

"Well, the pretty damsel in distress couldn't be you, because you're the scientist that needs defeating. As to who it is, that is depends on who you decide to dangle over a river of flowing lava, or send to Mars, or tie her to train tracks,... etc." ~Addison

"Please count me in your taking over STL.( i can pull a inside job )
luv your posts
JON"

""WHO DOES ADDISON LIKE???" You'll never know Ruth!" ~Addison

"See harrison, I told you she had a brain!" ~Addison

"Now I'm really convinced she has a brain.
Potent comments, Ruth." ~Addison

"YOU CAN HAVE A HEAVENLY EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE??!!! WOWWW!!!! =0" ~David

"I don't look down on anyone's silliness. After all, I'm the king of silliness. ;-)" ~Addison

"See, I told you I'm a gentleman!" ~Addison

"Who know's harrison. Perhaps we are in over our heads with this one. She indoctriniating the whole world with love filled peace nik speech..." ~Addison

"whatsup? y dont u bring this up at school where i can actually do something w/o having to look at blogs for it [which i dont usually do...] =\" ~Dave on "...My Heart..."

"AMEN SISTER!!! THATS THE TRUTH!!! SING IT OUT AGAIN!!!
sorry... xDD but what you say is true!! ==>remember God in all that you do<== ^_^" ~Dave

"Water fountains, Dave? Please. She needs to post about something high and intellectual like... the mysteries of bouncy balls. (That's for you, Joy.)" ~Harrison

"What I really want to know, is who you think of when you think of Gollum. ;)" ~WallJM

""What do you fear, lady?" he asked.

"A cage," she said, "to stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance fo doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire."
One of my favorite Eowyn quotes. :)
You know who I see when I see you?
Yavanna, who would mourn for the lost Spring of Arda.
Melian, whose hand would be the one that Finwe the Great could not function without.
Elwing the White, who gave all she had to journey to the Undying Lands with Earendil.
Valar, Mair, and Elves. Can't think of a good human one. ;)" ~Deborah <3

"I dreamed that I found my PE bag in my little brother's closet yesterday.
*scratches head*
And no, it wasn't there. Where is it, dangit? -____-" ~Deborah

"'Sadly, I will have to wait for the summer before I can carry it out...'
Do I detect a evil plan in the works...? Perhaps one that involves vicitmizing all of us poor St Louis people who want to live in peace with all men...?
*Vows to destroy all evil plans*" ~Addison

"I am woman. Hear me roar: Meow!" ~Joy

"Evil? Ruth? Never!
*grins and throws a pillow at Ruth*
'Course we don't think she's evil, she just loves scheming. :)" ~Deborah

"great posts... ^.^;;
ooh! pillow throwing!! *throws pillows at everyone present*
oh boy, its gonna come back soon" ~David

"Not sure what to say about all of this.
Though I do love the fact that you admitted to torturing me..." ~Addison

""and wuv, twue wuv, wiw fowwow you fowever and ever . . . "
--The Impressive Clergyman from The Princess Bride
Just had to write that!" ~Joy

haha.. I need to stop this time-wasting and get my work done. I just went through part of my archives... I got up to April 2005. *laughs* and here I posted comments that made me laugh. Most of them are said by Addison... I wonder what happened to all his wit... it seems to have disappeared. *laughs* Enjoy.

ACL

2008-03-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

It started as a game. They played at assembling and building and exploring and hunting. One man took the title of chief and played at leading. He told them to build a fire. They preferred hunting. The only fire was in their veins as they began a grotesque dance and a violent chant. He told them to build shelters. They preferred playing. The only shelter was in the darkness and vicious words that swirled around them. He tried to bring order and wisdom back, but nothing could be heard above the noise of the chant and the dance. The chant consumed them. The chant blinded them. The chant took over their bodies and they knew not what they did. Their bodies moved convulsively in a dance of savage delight and fire. He who sought to bring back order and wisdom felt himself sinking under the weight of it all.
Yet, even as one sank, another rose up. This one had been beaten down and ignored. He knew, however, the true Beast. The true Problem. The true Cure. He went where no one else dared to go and learned what no one else dared to believe. He returned, exhausted but full of his newly gained knowledge. Opening his mouth, he spoke, but was too late. For there was the dance, spinning close and fast. And there was the chant, growing loud and murderous. Soon he, too, was caught in the middle. It swirled around him viciously and he was lost. What they refused to listen to was soon silenced for all eternity.
He who was once chief watched and remembered. He sought peace and relief from the dance, but it was too late for him as well. The true danger had arrived. None could combat it. Those who tried became victims, trapped in the midst of the hungry, pulsating savages. Truth was hunted like a wild animal. Darkness and burning overcame everyone and one face watched over it all. Beelzebub.....Ba'alzevuv.....the Lord of the Flies.
Emerging finally into the light, they wept. They saw the deaths of those they had once befriended. They saw the blood of their brothers. They saw the blackness of their hearts. They wept and could not be comforted. The dance and the chant had turned them into the very Beast they had so feared.

2008-03-13T19:59:00.001-07:00

Alright.. I'm done testing. *laughs* for tonight, that is ;]

Anyways.. now you have enough reading material for the next couple weeks. I've got a ton of things coming up. heh. Enjoy! ^__~

2008-03-13T19:58:00.001-07:00

Bobbette, you're ready for a Calendar Makeover

You do it all. And you do it all...all the time. Sounds like you've got a little aversion to the word "no." But your hectic lifestyle could be taking its toll. That's why learning to put yourself first will be key to your makeover. Be selfish. It may take a little practice, but you'll soon learn that all those people who seem to have their days under control, do so by realizing, and establishing, their limits.

Start off by giving yourself some breathing room: take a walk at lunch, or make time to cook a healthy meal. Taking care of yourself will help you feel more in control. In fact, the more time you dedicate to you, the better. When you have more time to feed your body the right foods and the right kinds of exercise, it naturally starts to crave them. So before you dive into your calendar makeover, why not give yourself a head-start by feeling great about how you look and feel?

2008-03-13T19:56:00.001-07:00

Bobbette, your body's telling you to Have Some Fun

It sounds like your body is saying, "Easy does it." You're a motivated and hard-working person who's likely to be racing around here and there or doing multiple things at once. Ambition is a great thing to have, but stress often comes with it.

Before you work through lunch again, stop and look out for yourself. Get out of the office or go for a walk. And next time you're thinking about pulling an all-nighter, why not leave early instead and go dancing with friends or just enjoy a nice, quiet bubble bath? All work and no play can be bad for your health. And so can ignoring what your body needs — things like proper hydration and cleansing antioxidants. So kick up your heels and treat your body right!

2008-03-13T19:51:00.001-07:00

Bobbette, you're Crazy Cool

You taking the tried and true path? We doubt it. A wild child with lots of passion, you often prefer to leap without looking. This means you don't mind taking a chance or getting in a little trouble from time to time. If you learned something new or pushed yourself, then hey, it was worth it.

Sure, you've got a sensible side, too, but you'd rather get lost in the moment and do something no one else has done before. Sound pretty cool? It certainly is.

bwahaha... pwnage.