Epic Fail?

I stood in front of my audience with an open mouth and a blank mind. It did not take me long to realize that trying to memorize an entire speech in one morning just doesn’t cut it. The entire high school sat staring at me waiting for me to catch their attention. The judges sat interspersed amongst the students, pens poised and ready to write. Feeling ready to lose my breakfast, I looked down at the podium in front of me and read my speech right off the page. Imagine the worse professional speech you have ever seen and you will have an idea of how I did. Standing up there, reading my speech word for word off the page, I was ashamed of myself. When I sat back down, I wished I could just disappear into a hole.

Since then, I have never again competed in that speech contest. I discovered quite a lot about my self through that failure. The most obvious one was that I hate research paper speeches. I have yet to find one that I actually find interesting enough to enjoy. I also realized that the only reason I was competing was because it was expected of me. It wasn’t something I enjoyed or even looked forward to the smallest bit. I actually dreaded it. It was like trying to get a cat to take a bath: it looks upon the experience with the utmost dread even though the bath is necessary. I thought the speech contest was necessary in order for me to prove myself. What I learned afterwards was that I don’t need to prove myself. I make my worth, not others.

Now, I have not stopped all public speaking. I merely refuse to do that particular speech contest. One year, I got up in chapel and winged an entire message. Both my past and present English teachers could not tell that I was making my speech up on the spot. I also acted in a play in which my character decided to monologue on a regular basis. Also, as LEO’s club president, I do public speaking all the time. I no longer feel the need to prove myself. I know who I am and what my capabilities are. I refuse to do that contest not because I cannot do it or am afraid, but because I know I do not need to.