My left arm is killing me. I think my left arm is stronger than my right arm, my right arm is just dominant. Yesterday, we had the cutest little boy in nursery. I got to hold him for half the morning. He was adorable beyond description. He also nearly killed my arm, but it was way worth it. Along with him, I was also taking care of a little girl named Mae Tsang. She's mentally handicapped. She's also very independent and sweet.
I was standing out at the playground yesterday with the little boy, Joel, in my left arm. Mae was standing next to me-- she kept following me everywhere. ;P The older lady who's in charge of the nursery reached out her hand to Mae and told her it was time to go in. Mae shook her head, refused to take the offered hand, and said "No." At a loss for what to do, I told the lady I'd take her in and she nodded. She turned around and headed for the classroom. Almost immediately, I looked down at Mae and reached out my hand, telling her it was time to go in. She took my hand and we set out, only a short distance behind the other lady who had tried to take Mae's hand.
Today, once again, she followed me a lot. I helped her go on the slide at least 5 times and she had a wonderful time. She also just sat with me for a while. I was exhausted, having had a sleepover the night before, and I was ready to rest, so she sat with me.
I talked to her mom today. It was a good talk. I'm going to miss her next week. I'm just a little concerned. The rest of the people in the nursery tend to gravitate towards the cuter babies. They are also naturally repulsed by handicapped people like Mae. I only hope they will be able to work around their own selfish desires in order to love and help Mae as she needs.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
My Hero
written near the beginning of June.
When I was still small and could barely see over our kitchen cabinet, my hero would greet me with a big grin on his face and his arms outstretched. He filled my days with contentment and my nights with the kind of restful sleep only a feeling of complete safety can bring. As I grew up, he was always my hero and I longed to be like him- even when my head denied that it was true, my heart continued to hold the truth in its sacred vaults.
There comes a time in every person's life when they leave the old behind the and start anew. For some, it is early in their life; others don't encounter it until far into adulthood. Sometimes it is abrupt and painful. Sometimes it is so prolonged and transparent one doesn't even know it's there.
I remember him as strong. Always strong. My hero was physically strong as well as mentally. In my eyes, he was almost perfect. He knew everything and could do everything. Why am I speaking in past tense? Because that was the past. My hero fell down. And when my hero fell, part of me fell, too, leaving a hole that only my tears can fill- tears which I will not allow myself to shed.
You see, on the very day set aside for rejoicing the most famous entrance into life, my hero almost died. From that moment on, the very man who had held me up whenever I was ready to fall could barely support himself. Even half a year after the near fatal event, my hero can barely find the energy to complete one full day at work. This is the present.
The girl who once looked up to him with undying love and affection, depended on him for more than she cared to admit, and saw in her hero a knight in shining armor, was now his caretaker. Her strong tower had fallen and her source of strength was reduced to a painful reminder of his former self.
He's growing stronger every day, but it's too late. The damage has been done. The change has been made. The turning point has been reached. My hero is no longer immortal and indestructible. Our roles have been reversed and now I must step up and nurse my hero back to health. I must step up and know that his time is ending while my times is just beginning. My hero has fallen, but even now, he remains. Lower, perhaps, to others, but only grander and more precious to me. I spent my childhood depending on and looking to my hero in my times of need. Now, when he needs someone to depend on in his time of need, I will be there.
[in case you're wondering... I didn't spell check. I'm too tired.]
When I was still small and could barely see over our kitchen cabinet, my hero would greet me with a big grin on his face and his arms outstretched. He filled my days with contentment and my nights with the kind of restful sleep only a feeling of complete safety can bring. As I grew up, he was always my hero and I longed to be like him- even when my head denied that it was true, my heart continued to hold the truth in its sacred vaults.
There comes a time in every person's life when they leave the old behind the and start anew. For some, it is early in their life; others don't encounter it until far into adulthood. Sometimes it is abrupt and painful. Sometimes it is so prolonged and transparent one doesn't even know it's there.
I remember him as strong. Always strong. My hero was physically strong as well as mentally. In my eyes, he was almost perfect. He knew everything and could do everything. Why am I speaking in past tense? Because that was the past. My hero fell down. And when my hero fell, part of me fell, too, leaving a hole that only my tears can fill- tears which I will not allow myself to shed.
You see, on the very day set aside for rejoicing the most famous entrance into life, my hero almost died. From that moment on, the very man who had held me up whenever I was ready to fall could barely support himself. Even half a year after the near fatal event, my hero can barely find the energy to complete one full day at work. This is the present.
The girl who once looked up to him with undying love and affection, depended on him for more than she cared to admit, and saw in her hero a knight in shining armor, was now his caretaker. Her strong tower had fallen and her source of strength was reduced to a painful reminder of his former self.
He's growing stronger every day, but it's too late. The damage has been done. The change has been made. The turning point has been reached. My hero is no longer immortal and indestructible. Our roles have been reversed and now I must step up and nurse my hero back to health. I must step up and know that his time is ending while my times is just beginning. My hero has fallen, but even now, he remains. Lower, perhaps, to others, but only grander and more precious to me. I spent my childhood depending on and looking to my hero in my times of need. Now, when he needs someone to depend on in his time of need, I will be there.
[in case you're wondering... I didn't spell check. I'm too tired.]
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I was reading the Harry Potter fan-fic again when I ran across a quote that really... made me smile? something like that. then again.. my smile can be pretty creepy... off topic!
"Sometimes people walk away because they want you to leave them alone; sometimes they walk away to see if you care enough to follow them into hell."
Almost everyone I've walked away from I've left behind, because they did not care enough about me to follow. I think I've gotten so used to that that I expect to leave everyone behind and expect them not to follow me. In fact, I can think of very few people who I haven't successfully left behind. *shrug* the main ones would be my parents, my sister, and my brother. When I'd try to walk away.. they'd follow and drag me back. ^__^ What could I do? They're all bigger and stronger than me! haha.
"Sometimes people walk away because they want you to leave them alone; sometimes they walk away to see if you care enough to follow them into hell."
Almost everyone I've walked away from I've left behind, because they did not care enough about me to follow. I think I've gotten so used to that that I expect to leave everyone behind and expect them not to follow me. In fact, I can think of very few people who I haven't successfully left behind. *shrug* the main ones would be my parents, my sister, and my brother. When I'd try to walk away.. they'd follow and drag me back. ^__^ What could I do? They're all bigger and stronger than me! haha.
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